Avoiding eye contact with your teacher hoping you dont get called.

When you stretch, and your inner porn star moan accidentally comes out.

That awkward moment when you're left alone with someone you just met..

I'm not rejecting you, I'm protecting me

If you're Talking behind my back that just means my life is obviously more interesting than yours

How does this teacher manage to call on me to answer every question that i DONT know!? .

Dear Tomorrow, Don't be boring, be fun, be great to me.

When God asks what you've done with your life, try not to say "Didn't you read my tweets?

That one person ruins your whole entire day.

Don't make a girl fall for you if you have no intention of catching her. It hurts.

Just because i don't care doesn't mean i don't understand

No microwave, bad microwave... I want the FOOD heated, NOT just the plate.

Changing a whole text because you didn’t know how to spell one word.

Tips For A Flat Stomach - epphany.com/site/post/156?…

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hey girls check out my mast tweet.....

It's funny how people tell me when I'm loud to be quiet. But when I'm quiet, people ask me what's wrong.

Sleep is for people with no internet connection

Never make a decision when you're angry and never make a promise when you're happy.

My dad used to tell me that the ice cream truck would only play music when it was out of ice cream.