Getting very concerned about Football - it didn't come home last night and its parents are worried sick.

Absolute madness in Sainsburys tonight - they've removed all the protective screens from the self checkouts, and hidden the sanitiser out of the way so it's a free for all of coughing maskless people not sanitising hands or trollies. Happy freedom day! Pandemic's over yeah

Former Windsor Cub Scout Taylor Campbell OLY is part of Team GB at #Olympics2021. Taylor Campbell, now 25, competes in the men’s hammer throw at the #Olympics today. Good luck Taylor!

Good luck Taylor, from all in Old Windsor #oldwindsor #iscout

Seems that every time we go to #legoland LEGOLAND Windsor to try out a new ride it breaks down. Same last year!

Thanks for the offer Kate, but I’ll just say no. #justsayno #dailymail

Lionel Blair being fondly remembered in death through incredibly smutty double entendre jokes off I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue is the most wonderfully bonkers British thing. Just quite superb. RIP

I really tried my best with #DrWho tonight but…. What the feckitty feck was it all about? Shoving in a few seconds of Daleks, Cybermen and Weeping Angels didn’t help.

I am having the time or my life with this school show! The Mersisters & mermaid are great!!!

Such a brilliant show!

I’m Fully expecting #Boris to say “The Conservative Party is not a party, it’s a gathering”. #ToryLies Adam Hills

It’s about right on your home page Sky News , if you say it out loud. #boris #BorisTheLiar

"" by HappyToast - just FP'd: ift.tt/lidmT6n

#IsItOk that an 11 year old girl was removed from a ride on Alton Towers because she had a prosthetic leg? The Last Leg bbc.co.uk/news/uk-englan…

#isitok for auto generated captions on an excellent Black History Month video, fronted by the great Oti Mabuse, does the opposite of the video's aim of celebrating black people's achievements? Adam Hills

Latest #bargain at National Trust today

Unfortunately I imagine it'll end up something along the lines of: SYBIL: "Basil, this gentleman would like to change rooms" BASIL: "Oh and I expect he'll be wanting to CHANGE GENDER NOW TOO WILL HE??! Would you like a WOKE up call for the morning?!?! [Cont. til Cleese implodes]

Endorsed by Dave! The next stop on the #NoRegrets tour is #TunbridgeWells' @trinitytheatre, this Thursday! Book tickets here: trinitytheatre.net/events/lucy-po…

Go see Lucy. Say Dave sent you. Lucy Porter instagram.com/reel/DAQ4U__Mo…

#isitok that I can't think of a proper Royal Mail takeover joke that ends with "The Czech's in the Post"? The Last Leg