NOW THAT I, GAVIN C. NEWSOM, AM OFFICIALLY PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES (THANK YOU DONALD!), I HAVE MANY BIG ANNOUNCEMENTS TO MAKE! FIRST, EVERY TRUMP EXECUTIVE ORDER IS NULL AND VOID, STEPHEN MILLER AND EVERY TRUMP GOON IS FIRED, AND THE TRUMP CORRUPTION PROBE IS OFFICIALLY

Nick Shirley, right now

A lot of "mental health issues" disappear when bills are paid, rent is secure, and the fridge is full. Peace is expensive. And pretending money doesn't affect mental health is privilege.

This is fucking hilarious and Trump will absolutely lose his goddamn mind over it

Every fanfiction plot really boils down to just "what if these two characters from completely different stories fucked?"

Started reading this Batman/Harry Potter fanfic. Robin single-handedly takes down Voldemort. Then there's like 6 chapters of him fucking Hermione in the bat cave.

There is a kind of poetic justice to the rich and powerful being so afraid and disgusted with aging that they undergo painful surgery that makes them look like alien burn victims over time

I don’t care what anyone says. I truly believe that being financially stable eliminates 90% of people’s stress.

“Maybe instead of 10 or 15 gallons of gas, you get 1 gallon of gas…”

This is what the internet was invented for

Millennials are the elite generation because they cranked out 12-page essays the night before they were due. No ChatGPT. No Claude. Just lo-fi beats playing in the background, Black coffee at midnight, footnotes that were somehow correct, and pure delusion. Grade was an A minus.

Literacy starts at home.

#𝕊𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕋𝕣𝕖𝕜

I’ve been a vegetarian since I was 7 and I think meat has an important cultural and nutritional role. Unlike ai, which is completely avoidable

You put thousands of people out of work because you don’t like an acronym

Notice how their first reaction is to blame the person and not the broken system

10+ hour days tweeting?

If we nominate Trump, we will get destroyed.......and we will deserve it.