“a friend to all is a friend to none” “wow.. aristotle” “yeah… not taylor swift”

there’s almost no hype for this world cup so they had to bring out ol reliable

me giving hantavirus directions to satanyahu’s house

vogue wasnt capping around with this one

Trump when his diet coke flow is in danger

BREAKING: Israel just confirmed its 9 th case of hantavirus. They’re seriously starting a pandemic to cover up their loss in war 😂😂😂

mood

can someone evil please die overnight it would be nice to wake up to we need a treat

If I knew I would have a stable job

Nice to see a woman beating HIM for a change.

so Taylor Swift has a song about this

i gotta stop applying to everything on indeed i have an interview to be a college dean tmrw

never take her idols away from her

i am so sick of cruises at this point just bomb them all

Be open to the possibility that life may surprise you in beautiful ways you haven’t even imagined yet.

mama claimed us in front of the law meaning we’re officially her kids

kim kardashian failing the bar exam so many times that she gives up on being a lawyer is making me realize the american bar association might just be one of like three remaining institutions in the us that won't just roll over and give the exorbitantly wealthy whatever they want

2 rejections emails today alone..

see, i was in the trenches