They're going to close all the subways in NY? Note to self: buy stock in Quizno's.

If Irene knocks out our power I'm in some shit. I thought my wife said "get fleshlights". Won't be bored at least.

You don't see too many folks wearing visors that aren't college football coaches. Which is the way it should be.

Dinner with the handsome Steve Bowel at Bella Bacino's in Chicago yfrog.com/klt6myjj

Playing Bases Loaded on NES with Steve. "Player 1 or 2?" He asks. I say "2 because that's the # I just took in your bathroom."

Aside from football, the best thing about fall is MORE PUMPKIN FLAVORED EVERYTHING.

Game sevens narrowly edge out Six LeMeure in both numerical and entertainment value.

Still hoping waiting for my son to get into Saturday morning cartoons. That should open another small window of drinking time for daddy.

Twitter reboot time. Look out, world! Your over abundance of unnecessary electronic communications is about to get even more... abundanter?

Thanks Jon Krop for introducing me to infinitekungfu.com. Because a limit should never be placed on kung fu quotas.

Who's more responsible for their music: Mumford or his sons? I just want some clarification on who I need to hate the most.

Question: if you could be anyone other than Jason Statham, why would you?

Bud Light Lime Straw-ber-ita: a taste of the beach without leaving your double-wide.

"Hey, baby" is a thing I find myself saying less to attractive women and more to actual newborns and infants.

I'm not saying Americans are going to be easy pickings as video game villains in 50 years. I'm just saying the likelihood has shot up a bit

Voting to "disrupt the political system" with a guy like Trump is like saying "You know what would make this keg party better? Bath salts."

On the upside I'm really looking forward to Maxim's 2017 Ladies of The White House calendar.

Jeff Probst has to be at the top of Trump's list for White House Press Secretary though right?

We need more gargoyles on buildings.

What was that band called? Onepence None The Wiser?