how i feel after deleting my story after my other personality saw it and didn't like it

I feel like Trader Joe’s on a Saturday at noon is equivalent to getting deployed to Vietnam in the 60s

This man, does not give, one solitary, single, fuck.

“What? So no fuckin ziti now?”

Apparently it was a burrata salad, making this eminently understandable

Ngl the music your parents introduce you to stays with you forever

when I was a kid i used to think this was the best pop song ever made. then i grew up and matured and realised that this is absolutely the best pop song ever made

Man says Younghoe Koo accidentally “saved his life” after a missed kick against the New England Patriots had him laughing so hard he went into a seizure which sent him to the hospital where they found a tumor in his brain.

Yes. Men should not feel safe sexually assaulting women.

Me every time someone I don’t even know beats cancer

it's not just me

My budget for May is $5.

UNPOPULAR OPINION: Introverts don’t hate socializing. They hate pretending.

My greatest adult disappointment was discovering that bad people get away with everything.

I’m lowkey really concerned about how stupid everyone is getting..

✨🍋✨💛✨🍋✨💛✨🍋✨💛✨ 🍋✨💛✨🍋✨💛✨🍋✨💛✨🍋 ✨💛✨🍋✨💛✨🍋✨💛✨🍋✨ 💛✨🍋✨ MANIFESTING✨🍋✨💛 ✨🍋✨happy outcomes and✨💛✨ 🍋✨💛good news in May✨💛✨🍋 ✨💛✨🍋✨💛✨🍋✨💛✨🍋✨ 💛✨🍋✨💛✨🍋✨💛✨🍋✨💛 ✨🍋✨💛✨🍋✨💛✨🍋✨💛✨

Men do be good at parking I’ll give them that

9 year old me when avril lavigne said "hell yeah i'm the motherfucking princess"

The concept of a mocktail being the same price as an alcoholic drink is one of the stupidest things to ever exist...