While James Blunt is evidently a decent guy and a top crooner, the lack of any epic death folk metal in his back catalogue does seriously call his musical integrity into question.

'Listening to Heidra's new album The Blackening Tide was like being kneed in the testes by a dragon made out of tits! Hell fuckin' yeah!' Piers Morgan Wow, thanks Pierce.

"Danish metal behemoths Heidra munch metal like I munch fucking crisps" Gary Lineker Thanks Gary!

It's a beautiful day here in Denmark, so we decided to shoot each other. In the face.

The vast majority of all heavy metal folk are the loveliest people you could ever hope to meet who just pretend to be evil. Conversely, the members of Heidra are genuinely evil bastards. We just pretend to be loveliest people you ever hoped to meet.

You can't dunk biscuits in coffee. And that is why the gods created Yorkshire Tea

If you ever mention the vikings or draw a picture of one on your album cover, you are a viking metal band for all of time and no amount of medieval lyrics can ever change that #vikingmetal

Heidra to play at Dark Mental Festival in Valby this Saturday facebook.com/events/3381530…

Twitter is a bit like Instagram with less pictures where you just shout random crap into the ether and no-one notices.

Twice as many bald-with-a-beard guys than your average metal band. #bald #beards #BeardedBeauties

Heidra. A twin lead riff to the fuckin' face!

Heidra at Dark Mental Festival in Valby tonight. Come along, lest some bastard far more evil than any of us force you to watch Eurovision Song Contest

All our tattoos have meaning and mark very personal and important times in our lives. Namely a time when we had enough money and had a good excuse to get one because we like them. #tattoolife #tattoo #metal

Have you ever noticed when a non-metal person learns the name of a metal sub genre, like 'thrash metal', they get very proud of themselves and mention it all the time, whatever kind of metal might be on? Then you think to yourself 'Fucks sake, mum, Metsatöll aren't thrash...'

What if I like the sound of my Darkglass Microtubes x ultra best when it has the blue lights on, but I think it looks best with the red lights on....? #heavymetalproblems

Auberge is the best song by Chris Rea. Any other opinions are incorrect.

Carlos happened upon an elderly lady struggling to peel an orange. Luckily he stepped in to help, unslung his guitar and took the peel off perfectly using a series of razer sharp riffs. While the orange was now in a state of perfection, the lady had her ass tragically kicked.

In Britain, one teabag can make two strong cups. Anywhere else you need to two teabags to make one medium strength cup. And it's always on a useless bit of string. Drink proper tea. Drink Yorkshire Tea