My overweight chud son thinks every meal prepared in this house is subject to his tax (he’s right)

"peter thiel is funding clavicular, a streamer who hits his face with a hammer" You bolt awake in the mountains of Carthage. You are not online. It is 217 BC. You are the general Hannibal, and you have changed your mind. The future cannot come to pass. Rome must burn

You should always open up about your complicated past with opioids on the first date

I got really into hardcore around the same time I got really into the drugs that give you brain damage so it's harder to say which one has been more responsible for my cognitive decline

people are more willing to believe its satanic rituals behind the epstein files rather than accepting capitalism is evil lol

Big fan of no carbs guys who seem to think cutting out carbs is why they lose body fat and not just calorie control doing its thing

People are trying to trick me into looking at the moon

How do I tell my girlfriend who goes to church twice a week that I used to raid people’s pill cabinets at house parties like, not that long ago

Under psychic attack by energy vampires yet again (working retail)

People who don’t do well with stimulants are weak willed like what do you mean you cant harness that energy in a useful way

gf makes me take an edible and then beats me with a usbc to lightning cable

She is happy with the groceries this week (there’s treats in one of the bags)

Dudes be in the gym battling demons whole time the demons are just gay thoughts

Been buying 50mg Nic pods accidentally while in a 700 calorie defecit

i cant stop thinking about “it’s all corrupt girl” like it seriously is

If you’re not progressing in the gym it’s because the music you’re listening to isn’t gay enough 🤷‍♀️

My autistic son making sure I’m well groomed and smelling like cat food before I leave the house

The little 30 year old that could