Why would I celebrate America when Mamma Mia takes place in Greece

does anyone know parade underwear’s marketing budget? is it 1 million dollars a week?

made this when i was high out of my goddamn bloomers last night and couldn’t find my phone. i do think weed should be illegal but for me only.

wishing a happy international women’s day, as I do every year, to every woman who has ever been on a bravo or early 2000’s VH1 reality show.

The internet is incredible because people on here have opened my eyes to so many things I never even dreamed existed. Things that are honestly fucked up. You people are fucking crazy. I’ve lost sleep over some of you. What the hell is going on.

what will the biden administration do about buffalo exchange

reality show consumption and education is important and not pushed on the masses enough, as evidenced by the too many people that have otherwise adorable dogs named "Jax"

idk what you guys are talking about, i love it when the rich get richer

I love government offices because they’re open like Tuesday through Wednesday from 7 to 7:04am in the most inconvenient location and if you can’t make that work into your schedule you owe them 400 bucks

tweeting a lot today and you guys know what that means: i reintroduced small amounts of red meat and cold brew back into my diet

The mean girl in high school to nurse pipeline has been disrupted by a new, more threatening variant… the mean girl in high school to beautiful Instagram life coach pipeline… those 5,000 word captions about radical femininity carry more danger than sexy scrub pics ever could…

Harry Styles could hit me with his car and I would say “round the block again cheerio”

i think you should be able to yell “MOVE!!!” at kids on the sidewalk. just my two cents!!

I do not fear death. I looked something called a sheepadoodle straight in the eyes yesterday.

me walking through all the goose poop to get to the lake in Chicago

i physically cannot Be Real. i am always in a constant state of Being A Fake Bitch