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a big 'aha' moment for me was the first time i got paid for sex. I went in braced for emotional impact. Would I feel gross and used? would I cry myself to sleep? but instead, I felt awesome. The experience was thoroughly, simply, good. then i realized society had lied to me.

I am aroused by novelty, but once that wears off in longer relationships I basically never initiate sex. I hate initiating sex. I prefer a man just have sex with me whenever he wants, no matter my reaction. Some guys love this arrangement but those guys are rare