Whenever all 3 cats are sleeping on the bed, I always wonder... do I really have 6 cats? Or 8? How do they take up an entire king size bed? Special kitty powers.

"Mommy, your tummy, it is noisy. I'll help." Thanks dear. #mySimithecat #mainecoon #cats

The cats have gone to the opposite side of the bed. A: Oh my god. I am laying down fully & comfortably on my bed for the first time in weeks. This is amazing! -or- B: Oh, kitties! What has mommy done to make you flee me so! My little babies, come back for cuddles! #cats

Merry the air raid siren, his new snore. I think his purr is broken again.

My body heals weirdly. Massive bruises by looking at a sharp corner on a door jam. They take MONTHS to heal & hurt brutally. I burn the hell out of my hand & receive big blisters. Barely a mark left in less than a day. Baffling.

I think my cat Torben is secretly a bogeyman. Nothing can get him to stop being a naughty boy, but put a blanket on his head, especially one with fluffy bunnies...

At the emergency vet. Came across a stray cat that was hit by a car. Probably. Back legs aren't working. May end up needing help from the universe to pay vet bills... will keep updated.

Went out to get the mail at 2am to discover someone elses Walmart+ delivery. It was 84° today. There was a formerly frozen bag of veggies and 5lbs of warm ground raw beef on my doorstep all day. I can't express just how fast that rot was thrown into a trash bag. #yuck

The worst thing about sharing a wall is that every time they stomp up the stairs or slam the front door, it feels like people are trying to break in. Slightly terrifying. Cats aren't fussed, tho.

How did I hit an age where cool ranch doritos become the best snacks ever? When did I get old? Depressed.

Hour 49 still awake. Am binge watching every Disney animated flick I have (*skipped*) sadly missed in the last 15 years. I don't have enough tissues for this emotional roller coaster. Also, I don't get the fascination with Olaf. Seriously.

When book translations go horribly wrong: 'She put the large pot of stew, rice and side dishes out on the table. "Ugh, it looks exactly like a bisexual."' Sorry what? I can't even guess what they actually meant. #translationfail

Have discovered the reason you change out to smaller curved barbells in eyebrow rings. They get caught on everything when they are loose.... 😟

The half hour before your next dose of cold medicine is longer than eternity....

No really come on, who gets the flu in August except me? Argh.

The importance of a weighted blanket on your stress reduction can not be overstated. These things are amazing, and everyone needs one.

Desperately need the heat on my neck shoulders... but oh god! Sweat! Overheated! I thought this was winter! Argh!!!

On record now, I hate led bulbs. I didn't mind cfls, but this "I'm going to switch on and off at random cause I think I might die sometime in the next 6 months" shit is so aggravating. I often think I'm having a stroke or losing my mind. "Did it suddenly get darker? Am I dying?"