I was forced to wear a purple jumper.

I felt violated.

#RubbishJokes #DadJokes #AmazingFacts

My neighbour keeps randomly shouting out 'Broccoli' and 'Cauliflower'.

I think he might have Florets.

#DadJokes #RubbishJokes #AmazingFacts

It's amazing how many French words are now used in the English language.

There's 'Hors D'oeuvres' for starters.

#RubbishJokes #DadJokes #AmazingFacts

“I’m stuck on a crossword clue—Lime and Lemon carbonated drink— can you help me?”

“Sure. 7up?”

“No, 3 across.”

#DadJokes #RubbishJokes

How was your performance review?

Great! I only have two faults.
I don't listen and something else.

#RubbishJokes #DadJokes

What's the healthiest part of a donut?

The middle.

#Donut #RubbishJokes #DadJokes #AmazingFacts

Why did you get kicked out of the coffee club?

I wore a tea-shirt.

#RubbishJokes #DadJokes

I'm always wondering why people don't know the difference between your and you're.

There so ignorant.

#RubbishJokes #DadJokes

Have you ever played quiet tennis?

It's just like regular tennis but without the racket.

#RubbishJokes #DadJokes #AmazingFacts

The fact that jellyfish have survived for more than 500 million years without a brain is great news for many people out there.

#AmazingFacts #DadJokes #RubbishJokes

I went to art class with a girl who always cheated.

Her name was Tracy.

#RubbishJokes #DadJokes #AmazingFacts

Peruvian owls hunt in pairs.

They're Inca hoots.

#RubbishJokes #DadJokes #AmazingFacts

How many TikTokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer is in the comments.

#RubbishJokes #DadJokes #AmazingFacts

What do you call a man with no shins?

Tony.

#RubbishJokes #DadJokes

Delorean for sale.

Condition like new, only driven from time to time.

#RubbishJokes #DadJokes

What do Chinese lumberjacks do?

Chopsticks.

#AmazingFacts #RubbishJokes #DadJokes

I've chicken proofed my lawn.

It's impeccable.

#AmazingFacts #RubbishJokes #DadJokes

For Valentine's day, I bought my girlfriend beads for an abacus.

It's the little things that count.

#RubbishJokes #DadJokes #AmazingFacts

Is it acceptable to dip bread into a curry?

Asking for my naan.

#RubbishJokes #DadJokes