What's the healthiest part of a donut? The middle. #Donut #RubbishJokes #DadJokes #AmazingFacts

How was your performance review? Great! I only have two faults. I don't listen and something else. #RubbishJokes #DadJokes

“I’m stuck on a crossword clue—Lime and Lemon carbonated drink— can you help me?” “Sure. 7up?” “No, 3 across.” #DadJokes #RubbishJokes

It's amazing how many French words are now used in the English language. There's 'Hors D'oeuvres' for starters. #RubbishJokes #DadJokes #AmazingFacts

My neighbour keeps randomly shouting out "Broccoli" and "Cauliflower". I think he might have Florets. #DadJokes #RubbishJokes #AmazingFacts

I was forced to wear a purple jumper. I felt violated. #RubbishJokes #DadJokes #AmazingFacts

According to Jamie Oliver everything can be replaced with something else. Today I had pitta bread with souvlakis. It was very nice indeed. I replaced the pitta bread with toast and the souvlaki with baked beans. Yummy. #RubbishJokes #DadJokes

A haiku about my love life.... Hahahahaha, Hahahahahahaha, Hahahahaha. #Haiku #RubbishJokes #DadJokes

Good deed of the day: Give up a seat for an old lady! How was I to know she'd never driven a bus before? #RubbishJokes #DadJokes

At boarding school, I mastered two essentials: Ironing and Surfing. #RubbishJokes #DadJokes #AmazingFacts

A nurse told me: "Sorry for the wait!" I replied: "It's alright, I'm patient." #RubbishJokes #DadJokes

Limericks, quick wit, Verses wobble, then they hit, Laughs follow each bit. #LimerickDay #RubbishJokes #DadJokes

How to rid yourself of geeks (**star trek spoilers**) That's how. #RubbishJokes #DadJokes #AmazingFacts

Hugging another person for more than 20 seconds will lower your stress levels. Unless they don't know you. #RubbishJokes #DadJokes #AmazingFacts

The only pain I want in my life is... Pain au chocolate. #RubbishJokes #DadJokes

I burned my Hawaiian pizza. I guess I should have put it on Aloha temperature. #RubbishJokes #DadJokes

Slugs are male divorced snails. "Yes, she's got the house." #RubbishJokes #DadJokes #AmazingFacts

If laziness was an Olympic sport.... I would be fourth so I wouldn't have to step up onto the podium. #Olympics #RubbishJokes #DadJokes

Are you sweating whilst filling up your car? Feeling sick when paying? You probably have got the carownervirus. #RubbishJokes #DadJokes #AmazingFacts