Tonight's to-do list: -honk -shoo -honk -mimimimimi

i read this caption before every flight i take its sort of like a prayer for me

that lady on tiktok who does free cleanings 3 times a week for disabled people in unlivable conditions gets to cut the line in heaven

You get: 1 hour of extra sleep You lose: the will to live after the sunsets at 4pm

If you’ve been feeling down at all recently just remember we’ve still got 125 cold and dark days ahead of us and it will most likely get a lot worse for you

#GoNavy but really #GoIrish #tagboard

And you call yourself the ticket master

Drake is a true example of men's indestructible reputation. He's absolutely ran through. No amicable exes. Constantly rejected for commitment. Fumbled Rihanna, Sza, Nicki, Serena, JLo, Bria Myles, Raye, Tyra Banks. Random accidental baby mum. Still somehow "that guy"? How??? HOW

in 3rd grade we had a prison guard do a “scared straight” speech and we asked what the prisoners ate. he said “nothing good—mcdonald’s burgers” and when he saw our faces light up, he said “ya but imagine that 3 times a week…” that was when he lost control of the room

Officially done being a Chiefs fan this season!!

it’s time to remind the world that i drunk DM’d missy elliott this on new years 😂

In 2016, Pharrell Williams visited an N.Y.U. music production class to critique student songs. After he listened to a song called “Alaska” by a student named Maggie Rogers, he explained why “I have zero, zero, zero notes for that:”

ok guys here is a test which one will see u later and which one will see u in a while

That was unexpected lmao

i gotta figure out some insane rules for my kid that she doesn't question until she gets older. “no pink lemonade in this house. it’s unnatural” and she’s like right of course, lemons are yellow, it’s unnatural. then decades from now she’s in a college dining hall like Wait What.

Big words from a Kennedy!

I just experienced one of my first ‘full circle’ moments. I bought this bottle of water on my train to Dublin and noticed the name - Tipperary. Almost immediately, I began humming a tune. I searched “Tipperary song” on Google and learned that it was an old wartime song during

i cannot stop spending money. I am the primary breadloser of my household