Yee'haw mother fuckers

Maine is a myth, and the land should be forfeited to Canada asap.

Can someone tell me what 'snow' is?? I keep hearing about it but I don't think it's real.

I wish it got that cold here

I'm gonna kill the Cowboys.

Imagine being @RhodeIslandgov

Just cause you've never seen anything doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Ever heard of Ohio?

Due to complications with littering, all roads but highways will be closed. Yes, the Alamo is a highway. In other news, all roads are now highways! Enjoy speeding at 60 MPH in a residential district.

100 retweets and Greg Abbott gets run over by a pack of Longhorns

Yippeyakiyay this bullet's gonna ruin your day.

Don't mess with us, we say, as they proceed to toss trash on the highway and our police runs them over

Sorry, the power went out for the whole state. But, in return for waiting, we're giving out free covid tests! (All tests will return Negative by request of President Dumbfuck Trump)

Ya know, Im disappointed in everyone. We could've been great. Now I'm just sad. Thanks everyone, but for now, Blue Texas is a myth.

Look at this cocky bitch