⠀ Tʏ has the 𝑬̶𝑿̶-𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐇𝐀𝐖𝐊 in the palm of her hands, 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝘃𝗲 got a 𝗯𝗮𝗿𝗴𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗯𝗶𝗻 𝚃𝚎𝚍𝚒𝚘𝚛𝚎 peashooter. Cᴏᴘᴇ. 𝙎𝙚𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙚. 𝐏𝐮𝐦𝐩. ʸᵒᵘ ᵏⁿᵒʷ ʸᵒᵘ ʷᵃⁿᵗ ᵗᵒ ⠀

⠀ 𝐖hat is 𝒖𝒑, 𝗕𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗜𝗧 𝗡𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡 .ᐣ.ᐟ Comin' at ya a lil 𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳 than usual today— last night's 𝚂𝚄𝙱-𝙾𝙽𝙻𝚈 stream guest really gave viewers their money's worth. 𝐈𝐘𝐊𝐘𝐊. Don't miss ᴛᴏɴɪɢʜᴛ's if you wanna see more. That's an 𝗼𝗿𝗱𝗲𝗿. Later ✌️🏿 ⠀

⠀ 'bout time we headed up to 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐜 𝐈𝐈𝐈 to pay their 𝑏𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑖𝑛' barbimbo a visit. Her drinks'll be better appreciated at the Cathedral anyway. ⠀

⠀ As if she'd ever ask for permission before decidin' to do it— don't kid yourself, 𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐭.ＨＯＮＫ 🫳 ⠀

⠀ 𝘏𝘶𝘩 .ᐣ Can't a 𝗳𝗮𝗻 get a lil 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙞𝙘𝙚 'round here .ᐣ.ᐟ Flyin' all the way up to that 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 just to see you and t̲h̲i̲s̲ is the thanks I get .ᐣ Guess this 𝒃𝒊𝒈 tip's better spent elsewhere then, huh .ᐣ ⠀

⠀ Consider yourself 𝗹𝘂𝗰𝗸𝘆 to be gettin' this much attention from the 𝔾𝕆𝔻 ℚ𝕌𝔼𝔼ℕ, 𝙘𝙖𝙠𝙚𝙛𝙖𝙘𝙚. . . . 𝘀𝗵𝗶𝘁— ⁽ ᵗʰᵉˢᵉ ᵃʳᵉ ᶠᵘᶜᵏⁱⁿ' ᵃᵐᵃᶻⁱⁿᵍ ⁾ ⠀

⠀ Found out where your girl was late last night from my 𝐕𝐎𝐃 .ᐣ Sounds like you need to sᴜʙsᴄʀɪʙᴇ so you can catch her takin' this ℚ𝕌𝔼𝔼ℕ 𝔻𝕀ℂ𝕂 l̲i̲v̲e̲ instead, c̶u̶c̶k̶. Here, I'll even spot you your first month. Have fun 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧' 🖤 ⠀

⠀ Siren Bait. 𝑆𝑖𝑟𝑒𝑛 𝐵𝑎𝑖𝑡. 𝐒𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐧 𝐁𝐚𝐢𝐭. 𝘚𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘯 𝘉𝘢𝘪𝘵. S̲i̲r̲e̲n̲ B̲a̲i̲t̲.̲ Sɪʀᴇɴ Bᴀɪᴛ. 𝕊𝕚𝕣𝕖𝕟 𝔹𝕒𝕚𝕥. 𝑺𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒏 𝑩𝒂𝒊𝒕. 𝖲𝗂𝗋𝖾𝗇 𝖡𝖺𝗂𝗍. S̶i̶r̶e̶n̶ B̶a̶i̶t̶.̶ 𝚂𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚗 𝙱𝚊𝚒𝚝. 𝗦𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗻 𝗕𝗮𝗶𝘁. ⠀

⠀ 𝘈𝘯𝘥 .ᐣ That s'posed to 𝗦𝗧𝗢𝗣 me .ᐣ They're still pretty nice for a 𝒉𝒂𝒈 your age— you s̲u̲r̲e̲ these're all- 𝗻𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗮𝗹 and not fancy 𝕄𝔸𝕃𝕀𝕎𝔸ℕ 𝐁𝐎𝐋𝐓-𝐎𝐍𝐒 .ᐣ ⠀

⠀ 𝐃𝐚𝐦𝐧, and she's still 𝑓𝑒𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑦 too .ᐟ This how you disciplined 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 kids, 𝙈𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙖 𝙈𝙤𝙭𝙭𝙞 .ᐣ Heh. This just made me look forward to 𝗽𝘂𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗻' 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗶𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗲 t̲h̲a̲t̲ much more. ⠀

⠀ 𝐂𝐎𝐕's a 𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺, so only natural that they'd have a 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐚 too, right .ᐣ Figured you'd like the title with how 𝒆𝒙𝒄𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒅 you get at the attention from fans ⅓ your age ♡ ⠀

⠀ Looking out at the view — or 𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘰𝘧 — of 𝐏𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐚 from her bedchamber, previous night's 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕 still writhing and 𝑠𝑜𝑟𝑒 in the bed behind her. They should move their base somewhere nicer. With a view. ℙ𝕣𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕒, maybe .ᐣ ⠀

⠀ Not like pickin' up the whole Cathedral and movin' it outta the ground, Z. Use your head. Though now that you mention it, takin' 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐜 𝐈𝐈𝐈 for ourselves doesn't sound like such a bad plan either. ⠀

⠀ 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁'𝘀 𝘂𝗽 my psycho sisters and brothers .ᐣ Don't forget to dress your best when you come and see Moxxi marryin' into the fam tonight. And I 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒏𝒐𝒕 see any of you fighting at the reception while I'm 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧' 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧. ⠀

ᅠ ᅠ ᅠArrived at the altar with 𝕋.. ᅠThe 𝐜𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐲𝐩𝐬𝐨 made sure to greet her ᅠ𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐞-𝐭𝐨-𝐛𝐞 in the most uncivilized way possible. ᅠ ᅠ

ᅠ ᅠ ᅠMoxxi's Marriage Madness has ended! ᅠ ᅠAnd the winner is..... ᅠ𝕋.! ᅠ ᅠThe barmaiden is going to keep her word ᅠand will be married to the tyrannical twin ᅠfor one week. ᅠ ᅠMoxxi's bar will be temporarily closed ᅠdue to an employee shortage. ᅠ ᅠ

⠀ Reinstating 𝑵𝒂𝒐𝒌𝒐 as the head of Mᴀʟɪᴡᴀɴ was 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥'𝘴 play between ℤ .'s technical know-how and little s̲c̲h̲m̲o̲o̲z̲i̲n̲' from yours-truly. Add 𝙲𝙾𝚁𝙿𝙾 𝙿𝙻𝙰𝚈𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙶 to the list of b̲e̲n̲e̲f̲i̲t̲s̲ from 'em on top of all the ships and guns .ᐟ ⠀

⠀ What .ᐣ It didn't seem like she wanted to 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 to seal the deal, so Tyreen had to give her the 𝒏𝒆𝒙𝒕 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 ♡ luckily for Moxxi, she was saving up a̲l̲l̲ w̲e̲e̲k̲ knowing her wedding was coming up, so she had a nice 𝙗𝙞𝙜 present for the bride. ⠀

⠀ Aged like 𝒇̲𝒊̲𝒏̲𝒆̲ 𝒘̲𝒊̲𝒏̲𝒆̲, and it looks like she's tryna get the Queen 𝐝𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐤.

⠀ You think she's a̲b̲o̲v̲e̲ usin' her 𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐞 for clicks .ᐣ 𝙏𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣 .ᐟ Moxxi's gotta earn her tips 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘩𝘰𝘸 if the bar's closed all week. Now 𝘀𝗺𝗶𝗹𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗺𝗲𝗿𝗮, 𝑏𝑎𝑏𝑒 ♡ ⠀