The perfect Christmas tree topper doesn't exi-

It’s giving this and also it’s the best movie ever made

Called my dad for Christmas and he wanted to talk about Reacher and Young Sheldon

Good for her

Me on Tubi every night

Are there bots on Reddit? This has to be AI generated? Something. Please. Anything.

I’m so sorry nothing beats the cotton ball man

Who decides the order on festival lineup posters? I’d be so nervous everyone on it would be mad I put them in an unflattering spot

Okay but I had an idea like 10 years ago for blue diamond almonds to do a (b)lou diamond phillips thing that only existed in my mind but also should be real

Just left a bar because Tom S*ndoval walked in and said, “Isn’t there a big game today or something??” to a room with three people in it

On the Kate bbl note, remember when there was a collective freakout over Pippa’s butt for months and this was it

Before Willy Wonka Glasgow and Kate BBL twitter vs after

Martha’s emails in Baby Reindeer sent fron iphon

No one is giving us what we want #MetGala

“Who’s never leaving twitter because something fun happens once every 6 months?” Me:

Al Pacino saying "Moo Deng"

I’m so mad because like 10+ years ago I thought of an idea for Lou Diamond Phillips to change his name to Blue Diamond Phillips like the almonds and it would’ve been better than this but probably not better than Michael CeraVe

Still thinking about Al Pacino texting his baby on his shrek phone

About to The Substance myself just to take a week