i like when mr krabs calls him spongeboymebob

Me waiting for a client to make 3 separate ATM transactions

thinking about this wkuk sketch where they only get in trouble on the bus once they start talking about socialism

I love you, trader joe's pumpkin spice joe joe's, you’re my only friend

Someone driving like a fucking idiot and it’s always someone with a thin blue line sticker.

Fresh vs. Healed. Love to see it. ❤️

ALIEN (1979)

Real or AI

I’ll post something about my life on Instagram and it gets hundreds of likes. I post my tattoos (like my page is for) and it gets 5 likes. I can’t handle social medias.

They need to make baby socks that don’t fall off like that

Just thinking about how fine Nelly Furtado is. lay : “yeah you always are.”

Went to a different liquor store than the one by my house and the guy who works at the one by my house was in there. Felt like I got caught cheating.

Stupid Galbani I just want to eat my string cheese without turning into a surgeon just to get it out of the package.

I am now down over 30lbs. Proud of myself 😭

My backs been tweakin in places it’s never been twoke before.

Gas prices man

Seeing my little girl laugh for the first time has my heart EXPLODING 😭❤️