When you ask an emploid if they wanna go day drinking and they hit you with that W2 stare

The DoorDash guy forgot my drink so I imprisoned him within a soul gem

I appreciate Tony Gonzales for making the appropriate decision. I look forward to being the voice of TX23 that our district deserves. From the border, to oil theft, water rights, data centers, and many other issues. It’s an honor to be chosen and together we will make Texas

Dude found a loophole

The year is 2030. Mass lay offs have already occurred and everyone is on UBI. You wake up in a MrBeast challenge video hoping to win and get rich

sigh . . .

Companies be like "We have tons of benefits!" The benefits: -Bathroom breaks -Water cooler -Can wear jeans on Friday

Sorry I missed your work call earlier today. I was sitting on the couch with the phone in my hand watching it ring

My gaming PC with an Nvidia GPU after it hears me criticise Israel

all quiet on the frontal lobe

Jack Posobiec Blessed be the Lord my Rock who trains my hands for war and my fingers for battle.

i am destined to die a warriors death (brutally dismembered, instantly forgotten, entirely in vain)

how i look at bro after we get superpowers and he suggests we save humanity

“The simple truth is, not all of us become the Franchise Owners we once hoped we might be.”

“Can I please take 3 days off in July”

The Moby Dick fandom is dying. Retweet if you're a true Dickhead.