i keep replacing my friends with plants

let's be honest, life isn't that great of a gift

buy a magazine and take some time to slowly read it

In case you wanted to explain the term "asshole" to your children. x.com/David_Leavitt/…

All this talk about rompers but you never see anyone romping

Fear of not succeeding intellectually and academically: the worst blow to security.

You must enter your date of birth to access the 'Kinder Bueno' website. Plz no judgement on me for finding this out, just respect the fact.

sexual fantasies about food

Good night I love your moms ass

There's a moron badly rapping Busta Rhymes outside my studio.

Quick update: they're still outside. They've moved on to dutch rap. What is happening

I'm in a pub next to a table of 4 guys mansplaining to each other so hard that the testerone fumes just killed an old lady 3 tables down.

What's shaking? - my faith in humanity

We're all getting increasingly concerned about our workmate Lee Webb. Any information please contact the police walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-new…

Me: [2007] I’m wasting my life haha Me: [2017] I’m wasting my life lmao

Friend: "Want to split the last Samosa?" Me: "Miss Naanjie. Miss Naanjie. Miss Naanjie."