I dunno, I ordered an a/c grate cover in the wrong size like four freakin' times

If anyone can spare a few bucks, my buddy Alex and their cat Goose could use your help. gofund.me/222dc855

WAKE UP IN THE MORNING LIKE FUCK P DIDDY

Friends! If you haven’t ordered Black Crossword’s first book of puzzles, now is a great time 🙌🏽 B&N is having a 25% off sale on pre-orders. 35% off if you’re a premium member. 4/17-4/19 Use code: PREORDER25 Let me know when you grab yours!! 📚 barnesandnoble.com/w/black-crossw…

Me just now in a small voice as I get into bed: 🎶 won’t you take me to Sleepytownnn 🎶

I *would* eat a cockroach if a cockroach tasted as good as shrimp does, duh

When we came into work one morning three years ago, they started the morning meeting early because they needed to tell us that one of our coworkers had died the day before. They had a grief counselor available in the back. We opened on time.

Hi Ryan Reynolds! There's still time to do some ADR and make this fact canon in movies. Please let Hugh Jackman voice all the SNIKTs in #DeadpoolAndWolverine!

I’ve been saying this for years and people said no way. I’m here to say YES WAY.

Speaking as a quizmaster, these are the best rounds to read 😂

Same. I think about this a lot.

My job 100% asks me to post jobs that they already have chosen a person for to make it appear we have equitable hiring practices. I think that’s what a lot of companies are doing.

.Elon Musk Hey dorkface, no matter what happens today, you suck and no one likes you.

*Bill Hader Stefan voice* The hottest new platform is Bluesky. It’s got everything: Flavor Flav, Devon Sawa, Swifties, the Black Twitter Diaspora, also boobs and butts if you are into that but not like here where it’s all bots