Robert Plant is doing a show at a bowling alley. I've never done a show at a bowling alley. That means I'm bigger than Led Zeppelin!

Sometimes a boy's dream comes true and he gets to sit in with the Bangles for a couple nights.

Seven Brides of Frankenstein for Seven Brothers After Midnight #SpookyBroadway

Nightmare on 42nd Street After Midnight #SpookyBroadway

I hate when they put the price tag over the words on packaging. I want to know my shampoo's back story!

If I had to be in the army or navy I would pick the navy for the On The Town dance routines. #genekellyismyspiritanimal

Time to go eat the donuts.

Historically, Enola. Enola Gay. #thingswaymorelikelytoharmyouthanebola

The most important part of laundering money is the fabric softener.

Creme Poolee #RuinADessert After Midnight

I'm all about four seasons, but I wish every fall and winter month had one summery day just to get you through.

Some days I feel lazy and just wanna be a bum and wear sweat pants, but I can't. So I put them on my baby instead.

I'm trying to be really positive today. For instance, a Lenny Kravitz song popped into my head this morning and I just went with it

Every time I see my mailman I ask him "Yo, when's that Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue dropping, bro?"

What's the Beatles Halloween song where they go "blackbird singing in a dead man's mouth"?

So I guess I'm that guy wearing shorts in late October. Yup.

Tomorrow!!!!!!

Thank you for the in depth interview into my soul George Flanagan “@BreakThruRadio: This week on #SpitTakeComedy youtube.com/watch?v=pRHOxS…”

The sounds comin outta my radiator right now sound like some kinda cool new world music.

That kid who wrote the book about dying and going to heaven lied. Chapter 3: Endless Hot Fudge Sundaes was a sham!