❝Eeeeeeeeeeeeee—❞

(“Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, PLEASE, end my life.”)

❝ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT. Here's the line, and here's you. You've clearly crossed it. I didn't want to be rude, but. . . Ugh! I'm sorry!❞ x.com/PopStepIdol/st…

❝Fine! But that's as far as it's going, okay? I don't want people to get the wrong idea.❞ x.com/PopStepIdol/st…

❝Uuuuuuh.❞

❝I've had these 3 cans of beer in my fridge for like. . . Two months. They were for future guests, but, uh. . . Heh.❞

who's this asshole throwing away perfectly good beer?

Squints.

Desperately searches for inhaler.

WHEEZE.

❝I wish I had wi-fi.❞

❝I will never forget that fateful encounter on new year's day. Ah, I made a youtube video about it. 12 views, baby!❞

❝U.A looks so cool. I bet they have toilet paper in their bathrooms. . . A-A-Ah. . .❞

❝H-HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A WOMAN SO BEAUTIFUL YOU STARTED TO CRY FOR NO REASON?❞

❝If I want to be a winner. . . I have to think like one. . . And if I want to think like one. . . I. . . I have to dress like one!❞

❝Good grief, I barely have any money to pay rent. Living off cup noodles and orange soda sounded better in my head. . .❞

❝I should probably sell oranges for a living—❞

❝. . .Aw, nice. . . I got three favorites on my last tweet. I already feel like a star.❞