I haven’t subtweeted in a while...maybe I should bring that toxic trait back to spice things up a bit

Yes I’m single....No I’m not free on February 14th fuck off

Someone start a business with me...show me your capital 🥰

Go drink some water dumbass, you’re dehydrated !

Me Sober: ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ Me After 2 Drinks: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ Me after watching 36 episodes of iCarly in one night: ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Business daddy bf and cute artsy bf

I’m really just the faggot who knows how to fix the printer at work

Funny how I’m in charge of handling the gay clients at work and I’m not mad about it at all. Like hey besties, how can I help you???

I absolutely LOVE paying off my credit cards and then immediately proceeding to insert my card into any gaping slot I can find

Just got vaccinated... love that I can now talk to my FBI agent directly through the chip in my arm ❤️

Is it possible to “eat healthy” and “drink an entire bottle of jack” every week?...asking for a friend...

Omg I’m so stressed...someone pls slap the shit out of me and tell me to snap out of it

I’m now literally in charge of my company and I’ve never been so busy in my life 🙃...growth I guess though lol?

Tonight we’re bullying straight men! If I see a single straggot I’m launching heterosexual slurs

Not me pacing around my office while the phone is ringing off the hook and I desperately need help 🙃 Happy Monday!

Bought my lolla ticket 🥳

Help!…What are some cool places to travel internationally and why??

Ok so who’s gonna be in Chicago next week ??

Something about today, I mean it’s really giving…thanks

I had a client delete the emails that I sent them because they didn’t understand them (contracts and invoices), saying “can you send that over again?” Like…….sure, ⌘A ⌘C ⌘V