if you’ve ever doubted whether moving to paris was the right move for me, I just put a cracker on a piece of cheese

SECONDING THIS SOS

happy monday from Google to literally noone

white men, conspiracy theories, and the dangers of unresolved insecurities: a thesis

do u ever worry that if your bf could see you drop jam and then lick it off of your laptop he wouldn't date you i don't bye

also if confinement has taught me anything it's that running is a myth

I look once more Just around the riverbend Beyond the shore Somewhere past the sea Don't know what for Why do all my dreams extend Just around the riverbend?

are u mad at me ??? this tweet is for everyone

I honestly don’t know why men still think going 30+ mph above the speed limit on a residential street in their average car (& honestly even if it was the nicest car ever) where they modified the engine to make it extremely loud & obnoxious would be a solid way to pick up women

if I learn to spend half as much time thinking about my 5-year plan as I do thinking about how to get rid of the fat under my arms ... it's over for y'all

gotta say, Roger Cohen *really* nailed how we're all feeling in Paris right now with this gem of a piece. [[The Entangling, Ever-Extending Labyrinth of French Lockdowns nytimes.com/2021/04/26/wor…]]

on that note, HAS anyone figured out how to buy underwear in Paris rn? (sans Amazon)

I miss that crush feeling nobody told me you get older and men just stop being exciting to talk to

jahmz

2022 is the year of cringe and nobody can convince me otherwise

sometimes i see a girl looking absolutely incredible in a bodycon dress and i’m like mm… would NOT have survived on the oregon trail

I always forget Elon is short for Watermelon

.Christina Heiser hey! I work with the wellness brand Golde & would love to send you some samples (TY for including us in your Parade piece!) Do you mind DMing me your personal email? Don't want to bug you on your work one!

something cool about living in paris is I'm the only one who's ever walked in a straight line here