“Oh, uhm. We’ll see, this guy grabbed my ass. Soo uuh. I beat the fuck outta him.” Huge innocent smile.

“No no, you’re gonna come here and kiss me so I don’t feel disgusting.”

If this is misery, baby be my 𝓹𝓪𝓲𝓷. If this is love, baby bring your 𝓵𝓪𝓼𝓽 𝓷𝓪𝓶𝓮.

“So am I about to have to beat another dudes ass? I think yes. Step off my husband bitch.” So he’s grabbing his brass knuckles. Run.

Lil snort, “Breathe? No.”

God awful knuckle cracking. “Mornin fuckwads.”

Walking out— stretching with a yawn. “Y’all can kiss my ass and die.” Walking back into the bedroom and becoming one with the bed. Back to sleep he goes.

“Best mood in the fucking world.”

“Come back to bed, Ian Clayton!” Oof.

“Yes, daddy.” Yep. It happened. Deal with it.

That’s gay, Ian!

“If you don’t come love on me it’s gonna be a lot worse than just name calling.” Sassy ass thug today.

“Noooo, reaaaally? And here I thought you were one of those nasty het dudes.” MICKEY!

What a huff. “No. I don’t. I. Want. Kisses. And. My. Husband.”

“You’ll be back! Like in five minutes. Maybe ten at the most.”

“Because we both know of you don’t, I’ll end up throwing a fit and drink and start doing stupid shit.” Evil. “And we’re married so ya kinda have to.”

Annnd cling. He’s suddenly peppering kisses all over Ian’s face and good lord someone gave him coffee or something, “YES.” Happy thug.

He’s swaying back and forth like a child because he knows he’s right. “But am I wrooong?”

|| The next person to hop into my dms and ask Mickey for Sex or anything I’m sorry but you’ll be blocked. If you haven’t noticed, MY MICKEY IS MARRIED. M A R R I E D. Like read the shit under my pinned tweet and you’ll see!

Mocking Ian’s stance. “Exactly.” Stickicking his tongue out. Why must he be such a child.