At least he’ll always fucking rip at skating

Just texted work. can’t make it in today I’m overcuming a porn addiction.

Really hope one day Elon Musk gets with Sydney Sweeney so he can show guys like me that anything is possible.

Listening to mainstream music when you’re depressed like Coldplay or Mr. Brightside. You have every right to be sad (for lack of taste) and better off ending it.

I just swiped left on a woman solely because she works in HR. We brothers gotta band together to ensure these types of women never get dick again.

I wonder if SNL will do a sketch about dating a white dude you don’t like until after the election has been decided.

I hope when the King of the Hill reboot drops I did more improv shows than Bobby Hill 🤞

If you’re applying for jobs through LinkedIn and Indeed you might want to hold off until after the election so you don’t get spam texts begging campaign donations from ghost jobs.

#skatetwitter do your thing

Andrew Tate should take over Kill Tony and give those incels some real direction.

I feel like it’s time our nation got back with our ex and I got back with the girl I was dating during his presidential term.

To me, having fuck you money is being able to send compliments that are not actually compliments on Bumble.

This poor sack of shit

I learned the facts of life from watching the facts of life 🤦‍♂️😩

Whole time I’ve been misspelling seafood as C food cause I thought the C was short for cunt since I always see women eating that kind of food. Never put two and two together that it was sea as in the Ocean.

You ever open up People You May Know and see hot chick after hot chick and they’re all mutual friends with the same guy and that guy is Jeffrey Epstein.

If Aubrey Plaza couldn’t save him. What chance do any of us have?

This whole SNL 50 got me thinking I’m glad I’m not on the show because what if I was mid and never used to my full potential.

I feel like a detective on Law and Order whenever I’m looking for my AirPods and all my clothes are like witnesses and possible suspects.

Can we all agree that if Elon musk had just held back, and did everything he did over the course of Trump’s administration instead of in a week it might have actually been funny?