I don’t want to panic anyone in Bristol but

modern horror movie where a guy is stuck in the dark and he can only see by the light of his vape

Oh no I forgot about all the people I met last summer and told them to meet me in the same place this summer if we still felt for each other and wanted to start a life

Asahi like a melody in my head...

We probably have like 5 base sauces and all the other ones have the base sauces as ingredients and it makes me really uncomfortable

Gotta go to sleep.. I'm on Wikipedia looking at keroppi and his crazy friends

Turns out if you put nail polish on your leg it doesn't peel off in a fun way so don't do it unless you have immediate access to nail polish remover

Garfunkel! What brings you he- *I punch him in the throat* that's what you get Garfunkel. Don't get up

If I vomit from over eating spaghetti tonight I think I might need some sort of intervention. I can't keep doing this

Doctors could learn a thing or two from me. *Dies*. *Dies again*. I said doctors could learn a *dies* *dies again* *dies again*

Nothing more embarrassing than wearing a top hat straight from the store

Just found out that if I watch an old black and white movie, I can tense all the muscles in my body and hold my breath, which makes me see the movie in colour until I pass out

Don vaper

You do that again and I'll tell my snipers to shoot. I can't find my walkie talkie but when I do you'll be sorry!!!

I'm probably the biggest baby in the world #shame #bigbaby

I've breathed in places you wouldn't even fart

Wacky signs ahead for the world. I'm seeing some wacky signs. If anyone

Oh, the treasurey Everyone wants a coin from meeee