Accidentally said ‘Circle K’ instead of ‘CVS’ when Urgent Care asked me what pharmacy I use

DONT DO IT LITTLE GIRL!

how about 7 inches and thick my daughter 3 weeks ago she killed herself

Just had a fart that came out ice cold

SHHHH 🤫🤫🤫🤫

What having ocd is actually like

i used to hold my arms up at the sides bc i was really obsessed with meowth so i would call it “having arms like meowth” and i would do it all day everyday and my parents would tell me “we know you love meowth but please stop doing the arms like meowth” but they couldnt stop me

he said it's all in your head and i said so's everything but he didn't get it

I wonder if Nancy Mace can ever eat beans without thinking about this tweet? I’m not even Nancy Mace and I cannot eat beans without thinking about this tweet.

she very much understood what had to be done (as always)

most beautiful woman in the world

CASHIER: Do you have a phone number with us? VIDEO ESSAYIST: Dear God... I'm probably gonna butcher this...

you’re on Very thick ice with me . i love you

It was fucking bogus that I spent the entire book expecting some horrifying monster and it’s just Grover

this genuinely how it feels

Men cheating on women: disgusting, debaucherous, backwards Women cheating on men: nuanced, revolutionary, interesting

one time ape watch giant boulder completely flatten monkey at base of cliff side. No blood no sound instant death

They put Kill Yo Self in the pollen this year