imagine u beefing with me and I pull up to yo crib with 9000 termites. Whole foundation gone cuz u wanna talk crazy

should we pregame before hurricane hilary ?

i wasn’t born for a 9-5 i was born to watch the sunset on a porch with my buddies

chicken tikka masala garlic naan and a ginger ale

this is how i sit after dumping a fresh set of legos on the carpet

When it rains it pours

$100 for each duck. $25 for the gay one x.com/Yoda4ever/stat…

Ask “why them kids ain’t in school?” whenever I see children in the daytime

me rewatching my ig story after someone likes it x.com/Lunarprimate7/…

What the day feels like when I make plans at night

requesting PTO at work is so embarrassing. "hi boss permission to enjoy my life for 3 days?"

i can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while im not home

refilled the brita

oh the longest month of your life is finally over? time to pay $1600 in rent