oh this is brilliant. so simple, so succinct. shows how instantly this culture war bullshit crumbles when you apply a crumb of common sense, reason & basic perspective.

The Animals are cool cuz they are way scarier than any heavy metal band while wearing matching little suits. They’ve definitely killed people.

Exit light
Enter night
Take my hand
We're off to

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

💥ATTENTION💥That was Not an Earthquake in NJ… I just like to get a little Morning Sex now and then… Everyone relax and get back to normal. My fault.

In 27 years
I've drunk fifty thousand beers
And they just wash against me
Like the sea into a pier

staying at an airbnb and look at the previous guys search history

Two margaritas deep, I heard a song playing called you can go your own way, and I was like wow they are really singing their ass off. Looked it up it’s two band members breaking up I am in TEARS! YOU CAN GO YOUR OWN WAY 😭😭 watched the live performance. he can’t even look at her

obsessed with this lunatic. new england excellence

People mock the #boatrace but if it wasn't for rowing some of these kids would still be in gangs in the inner cities.

Just walked in the pub

All the lads were like “No way!”

I was like “Yahweh!”

A pal just sent me this comparison of a famous 1760s portrait of George III that I've seen in a zillion textbooks and the shape of England and I've been missing the point the entire time.

How’s he pulled that off then

Just heard a mother on Henry Street: 'Well, you wouldn't be much use in the Easter Rising, crying over a balloon.'

the best thing about goin for a few pints is wakin up the next morning and contemplating everything you’ve ever said to anyone in your life

Every time I see a turtle up close I’m like man this is not a good idea for an animal