They fucked up bad letting me into Rosa’s tonight #TwoEntreeTuesday

Thomas Debuts New Characters for Us.

I jacked off extensively in middle school. (Remembering I’m in a job interview) Voraciously, I mean

I see why they call it “dim sum.” They bring the food over, and dim sum body eats it! 😂

I love my friend Riker dearly. It’s just that damn island of his

It was the chair.

Who Let The Baby Drive😽😭

Experts are saying they’ve never seen a pair of relaxed fit Levi’s pushed to the limit like this

Noah Kulwin from Blowback Season 4: Out Now joins us as we discuss sexy Jewish summer camp, Evangelist zip line culture, and schizo uncle truths open.spotify.com/episode/1SNsXY…

If I was in charge of the treasury I would put my buddies on the penny for a couple weeks at a time just to fuck with them

Kibble

Millennial Jay-Z on Monster: iPhone, MacBook, App Store, iPad, Laptop, Computer, a smart phone to send texting

Had a beautiful dream last night that tragedies happened in every gas station I walked into, allowing me to leave with my candy and soda for free

Two shirts in that closet I know you travel light as fuck

the doctor thinks hes euthanized me but he comes back 20 minutes later and im underneath the blankets playing on my switch

Chips before work, make stomach hurt. Chips before bed, keep a man fed.

My 200 Pound Life

Hope your first skydiving lesson went well! Hillary Clinton