LOL I just died!RTElijah: okay so apparently you're not supposed to twerk in church when the choir starts singing christmas hymns."

@simonstacks the ex-mayor of California! Duhh

Gotta get go to work in a min. Not feeling this @ all!

Nothing like crying like a lil biotch through Le Miserables to get your stud card revoked! #goinghometoeatglass #pushups #need2eat1notb1

@OhYouFancyHuhFB Japanese!

@OhYouFancyHuhFB IJS! Why??

It dawned on me that professonal food photographers are just dope dealers...#lemmegitaliltaste #nocredit #strawberrystrawberry

"CancersAreUs: #cancer will only give up control if they trust you decision making skills"-why is this hard to understand?!

"CancersAreUs:#Cancers don't like to come off as a mean motherf**ker but, their natural loving nature wont be respected by most people."boom

"CancersAreUs: #Cancers get annoyed by ugly noises people make."Bwaaa omg!

...it alarms me that i can hear myself blink...

...loud like camera shutter...

you should try some of this garcinia too tinyurl.com/nw229bp :)

this is where you get it =) tinyurl.com/kw54kh6

i watched this article about it tinyurl.com/nzt364l :)

PSA

Introducing President The Donald:

youtu.be/yFQO5ciDaQY the