a fazer negócios (regatear na vinted para preços tão baixos que chega a ser ofensivo para o vendedor)

Cowboy the Terrible My likes go to another school

When the hangout so good you gotta thank them for finding their way into your life

believe it or not, the advert is not for you to get a hard-on to. its actually for bras for women to buy.

i lied there’s no sex you’re gonna help me rearrange my apartment

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women

we accept New Year’s Eve as the time of reflection but it’s really end of August

God’s plan for me does not involve LinkedIn at all

daily affirmations: •sugar cannot hurt me •computer is neither ruining my eyesight nor my posture •it will get better after this week •my dog is never going to die

Don’t need to be able to see the Northern Lights. My friends are more radiant and beautiful

q-tip box: DO NOT PUT Q-TIP IN YOUR EAR!!! me, moments before fucking up my ear: glad they said that. that’s an important warning for other people that don’t have my special q-tip technique

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman

if you have a pet carrier at the airport it’s my right to peek in like who’s that

not to be controversial but you should be allowed to leave work early to get drinks if the weather is nice enough

"people you may know" & it's someone i would set on fire