My dear friend Wyman sent us a delicious pork pie for tonight's festivities. What a sweetheart!

Has anyone seen Cousin Aenys?

Tonight we snack on popped corn drowned in butter, creamy soup of mushrooms and buttered snails, roundels of elk stuffed with blue cheese...

Peacocks served in their plumage, roasted whole and stuffed with dates, roast herons and cheese-and-onion pies. #fingerfood

That was better than sex but not quite as good as pie. #GameOfThrones #TheNorthRemembers

I love the way Roose Bolton talks dirty to me. steelshanks.tumblr.com/post/208540279…

Roosie invented a marvelous game called Red Wedding. He says "Jaime Lannister sends his regards" and thrusts his manhood between my teats.

Oh, and how could I forget? #FF Roose Bolton Lady Walda Bolton. There are no hashtags for what those two have going on. NONE. #disgusted

I am ever so excited to see my sweet Roose Bolton's #GameofThrones debut! I will squeal and shudder in delight.

I have heard rumors that the opening credits will be replaced with my personal theme song to commemorate the occasion. youtube.com/watch?v=t2mU6U…

The family that flays together stays together.

I apologize for my absence. Ramsay locked me in the cellar after Roose Bolton left for the south.

I assume Ramsay was trying to punish me for some imagined slight, but I enjoyed my little vacation. The larder is my favorite place to be.

Once again I find myself apologizing for my absence. Roose Bolton and I have been terribly busy lately, with both war and wedding plans.

In celebration of my 513 erudite followers (one for each pound!), I would like to share an excerpt from my new book, 50 Shades of Frey.

Walder chuckled softly as he stripped her bare. He trailed a sharp blade over her breast, tracing the blue veins beneath her pale skin. His

cock strained against his breeches as he wound the cord round her plump thighs and pulled it tight. She had led him on a merry chase, this

one, but in the end he had captured her. He always did. Mouth watering with anticipation, he massaged oil into her tender white flesh

and placed her in the oven.

I seem to have misplaced my husband. Has anyone seen Roose Bolton? I hope he hasn't run off with some whore from Volantis.