ASSISTANT! You WILL cease this horseplay at once! My dressings are in no way a part of this experiment... But... even so, you 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘵 admit you're jealous of my well-crafted figure, yes? 𝘏𝘌𝘌!

*Must* you gawk at my each and every habit? I'm simply airing myself out... It's quite *stuffy* beneath these robes you know, hee - hee! ...bah, no matter. Stare all you like, so long as you don't whine...

CA-CAW! CA-CAAAAW!

BAH. I AM UNIMPRESSED WITH SUCH ~TRIVIAL~ MAGICKS. One hundred times the fun, perhaps...

No. There are only two. Believe him, he's a decent counter. But if there were a hundred, it would be at least slightly impressive... Two is child's play!

Late night... Not a soul around to witness him. A better time than any to practice his dancing skills, heheh...

I hope you didn't think you'd be rid of me?! PAH, as if! And rob the world of its most TALENTED AND EVIL GENIUS?

// society if i was on here 🏙️

ASSISTANT! You WILL put me down this *instant*! My short stature is hardly an excuse to treat me as some *hand-me-down plush toy*!!

I do not *squawk*! I CACKLE, like any mad alchemist should! SQUAWK! Err... HEE HEE! (BDAY 3/12) 🏜️𝓒𝓪𝓳𝓾𝓷 𝓗𝓸𝓼𝓹𝓲𝓽𝓪𝓵𝓲𝓽𝔂

Was being allowed into his private quarters not enough?! He'd given Oran permission to use his silken sheets, not to make him his-- mmhf! -- *snuggle buddy*! Ooh, he's quite lucky Plague's chilly body required warming up in that exact moment, or he'd be receiving a staff bashing!

Assistant. Surely even a birdbrain -- AHEM -- A SIMPLETON like yourself can understand evil geniuses need beauty sleep for their big and beautiful minds. Which is to say: I am going back to bed. DO NOT WAKE ME.

He's learned so very many ways of making potions that turn you wider... And yet still hasn't cracked the secret to turning you taller. Bah!

"HMM? This isn't the bazaar-- but some lizardman's abode! ASSISTANT!" He crossed his arms, seeming to be without much remorse. "Now-- I am trying to remain COVERT, so let us resolve this without involving the royal guard... A few shillings will serve to recompense, yes?"

"NOW NOW, let us not jump to any conclusions. Surely that crude patchwork was worth but a few coins! Regardless-- it's all I have on my person. Unless you'd also be willing to accept BOMBS? I have *plenty* to spare... HEE HEE HEE!"

!!! He leaps forward with surprising speed, swiftly blocking off the exit. "AH WAITWAITWAIT! S-surely we CIVILIZED GENTLEMEN can come to a mutually beneficial arrangement, here..." His hands are waving frantically, now. "N-name your price! Just, so long as gold isn't involved..."

An awkward silence passes between the two... Seemingly he can't decide whether to express his impatience or placate his "host". Yet the tapping of his foot grows ever louder. "Hmmm... One of those salacious types, are you? Yes, yes, I'm quite a prize."