you’re telling me a cis teen built this chapel?

Ok hear me out ....A smoke detector that turns off when you scream "I'm only cooking "

Always remember- nothing at karaoke is stopping you from singing the Weird Al version.

No, autocorrect, I will not give up and will continue to type a lengthy word knowing that I have incorrectly typed several letters until YOU back down and give me the correct spelling suggestion. I’ve got all day, my friend.

If Twitter had sound effects, all my tweets would sound like tennis player grunts as soon as they hit the timeline.

World’s Strangest Double Feature: ‘Barbie,’ Then ‘Oppenheimer’ - The Wall Street Journal

Come on Barbie let’s go party - Aqua, “Barbie Girl”

Men will literally change the name of a whole damn app instead of going to therapy

Cinnabon is actually short for Cinnamon Bonaparte, Napoleon’s stripper daughter.

Okay, meet me at the mall. - Teen Talk Babie, 1992

i am become jimmy, eater of worlds

Hundreds of wise men cannot make the world a heaven, but one idiot is enough to turn it into a hell. ― Raheel Farooq

Ding. - Hector Salamanca

I used to be rock & roll, but now I carry a little plastic flip box with individual tooth flosser picks in it

Does the label "long-term long-distance low-commitment casual girlfriend" mean nothing to her? - Ken, "Barbie" (2023)

I googled "barcelona diarrhea" and a very obscure Billy Joel song came up.

It's coexistence or no existence. - Bertrand Russell

If baseball really wants to get exciting, they’d let a celebrity throw the LAST pitch. Bases loaded, here’s Danny DeVito.

You didn't ask for reality. You asked for more teeth. - Dr. Wu, Jurassic World” (2015)

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. - Ron White