"HOW WILL I DIE" ONLINE QUIZ ENDS BADLY WHEN A LIVE CHAT WINDOW OPENS ON YOUR SCREEN. 'THAT'S NOT IN THE PROGRAMMED RESULTS' THE PERSON WRITES.

WAR ON CHRISTMAS CONTINUES AS SOUTH POLE SUBVERSIVES DEPLOY NATIVITY BOMBS AGAINST THE NORTH POLE REGIME

GRAVESTONES JUT OUT OF THE EARTH LIKE THE JAGGED TEETH OF SLEEPING TITANS, READY TO WAKE.

YOUR ORGANS HAVE GAINED SENTIENCE, AND THEY'RE NOT HAPPY ABOUT THE CURRENT SITUATION. THEY'VE STARTED TO UNIONISE.

DATAMINE YOUR RELATIVES TO FIND ALL SORTS OF HIDDEN AND REMOVED FEATURES

YOU CAN ALWAYS ENJOY MORE STREAMABLE CONTENT. YOU *WILL* ENJOY MORE STREAMABLE CONTENT.

'MEAT MODE' HAS BEEN ENGAGED

CHRONOPHOBIA - THE SENSATION YOU FEEL AS TIME SLIPS INEXORABLY AWAY.

HORSE ANATOMY

IF IT EATS TO LIVE, IT CAN BE KILLED. GODSPEED, UNLIMITED TACOS.

HAVE YOU OR A LOVED ONE BEEN CONSIDERING DISMEMBERMENT? ASK ONE OF OUR DISMEMBERMENT SPECIALISTS TODAY IF IT'S THE RIGHT CHOICE FOR YOU. THE PROCEDURE IS COMPLETELY PAINLESS.

ATTENTION ALL SHOPPERS: THE SOUP IN THE FOOD COURT IS FREE TRY IT TRY IT TRY IT TRY IT TRY IT TRY IT TRY IT TRY IT TRY IT TRY IT TRY IT TRY IT TRY IT TR

SOMETHING NEW IS HAPPENING. A CHANGE OF TONE. STAY TUNED.

ATTENTION SHOPPERS: the mall is now open. the mall is safe, and ready to be explored. please enjoy the shopping

FIRST, A NEW VOICE. IT ENTICES YOU TO ENTER AND BROWSE GOODS. YOU MUST CONSUME. x.com/MallPASystem

THE PLAYSTATION 5 HAVING THE EXACT SAME DIMENSIONS AS A COFFIN IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL.

UP NEXT: INTERNET COMMUNITIES BAND TOGETHER TO SUMMON A DEMON.

GRAPHICS CARD SHORTAGE LEADS TO PARTS OF THE SKY BECOMING GAPING VOIDS. SOMETHING CALLED "BIT COINS" CRASHING DOWN TO EARTH? IMPACTS HAVE DEVESTATING EFFECTS ON ENVIRONMENT

THEY'RE A 10, THEY'RE A 100, THEY'RE A 100,000. THEY ARE MULTIPLYING ON AN UNPRECEDENTED AND ALARMING SCALE.