today on #shopper questions: 'why can't we leave the mall? please let us outside.' why would you want to leave? there's nothing out there. the mall provides for you, all it asks in return is your patronage

the food court is now serving MEAT CHUNKS.

shoppers that spend $1000 or more are eligible for Ascension

shoplifting is punishable by Exile

for ease of access, please make use of the numerous Mall Tunnels installed for your convenience. if you're lucky, you'll get to see a wild Mall beast!

Mall beasts cannot be tamed. the Mall is not responsible for injury caused by Mall beasts

those with Super Shopper status can enjoy three different flavours of nutrient paste at the food court!

a portion of the apple geniuses team has gone rogue, #shoppers be advised

attention #shoppers: you will experience Evil soon

we apologise for any inconvenience caused by the carnivorous escalators

if you hear any kind of music other than soft jazz while #shopping. that is boss music, get ready

sensing your hatred of retail architecture, the mall foyer attacks mercilessly

the mall is never closed. the mall is never open

you can't put a price on life, but you can put a price on death, thanks to our brand new in-store bounty system

please do not use the vents to try and escape the Mall. you will only find yourself back where you started

complaints that the Mall is 'endless' or 'the horizon is a myth' are also exaggerated. the Mall is as big as it needs to be

CUSTOMER UPDATE: all rival commercial businesses have been eliminated, we are proud to be your only choice in #shopping destinations

what if we kissed in the mall? it is forbidden

repairs are set to take place on floor 872 after the Flesh Incident