Explain 2022 to me like I am in middle school.

I don’t get into fender benders. I am training for my Battle Bots debut.

11 million logins on the first day the Ohio Sports Book opened tells me that the people of Ohio are probably big on hope and bad at math.

*wakes up from coma I have been in since 1993.* what do you mean they canceled America’s Funniest Home Videos? It’s not like you could just watch endless videos of people falling down on a magic screen that lived in your pocket.

I’m into Melissa Rauch being the judge on the new iteration of Night Court. But if she hosts SNL, she has to eat a guinea pig in her monologue. The position comes with responsibilities.

If someone told me that they didn’t want me to do a job 14 times, and then consented to me doing that job on the 15th time I asked , I would be very comfortable doing an incredibly shitty job. I’d want to live up to the expectations they had the other 14 times I asked.

Influence People, LLC @zoebchance @chris_petsko Julia Minson🇺🇦 Sohad Murrar Adam Mastroianni David McRaney Mark Brandt Adam Hahn Linda J. Skitka Andrew Kozak TV G Elliott Morris Joss Fong Meryl Horn Dave Nussbaum Taylor Scott Dr. Evelyn R. Carter Vanessa Bohns Jesse Thorn Tim Houlihan Kurt Nelson, PhD Steve Rathje John Sides Robb Willer Efrén Pérez @margo_monteith @TenelleJPorter Erik Tait Anthony Barnhart The "Best of" bonus episode is out now: buff.ly/3vVwGQR As always, it's a collection of clips that reflect some themes and across the year. Not necessarily the "best"--the whole year is worth a listen in my book. Thanks for your support!

Hey Amazon I have now ordered four bricks of Bicycle Cards standard face and received four bricks of jumbo face because your entire warehouse is labeled wrong.

Hey Piff the Magic Dragon what was it like in that arena when Captain Shrederator decapitated Ghost Raptor? Do you feel like your presence helped Ghost Raptor get the win?

Then: What’s your favorite movie quote? Me: Come on Artax! Fight the sadness Artax!

As an American, eves dropping in a pub in the north of the UK is very difficult.

For the first time I am watching Quite Interesting in the UK. Now I just have to listen to No Such Thing As A Fish while I am here and I will have achieved a very modest dream.

I feel like if Andrew Hunter Murray were really dedicated to knowledge I would meet them in Blackpool at the Blackpool magic convention this weekend. #YourMoveFish

Wait, so Ellie is Mushroom Blade? #TheLastOfUs

Very important for kesha - Are you aware of the combat robot in NHRL - Robot Fighting League built by a young woman inspired by you that has ablative glitter booty armor? It’s called Timber and it is wonderful.

Please excuse my Chihuahua. He thinks he is people.

Dear STARBURST, my partner is sick and sent me to the store with the instructions, “I need starbursts. Please bring me a handful of pink.” Upon getting home from the store this is what I found. This is basically a candy war crime.

Our queen is in trouble. Avengers. Assemble.