Overheard at the Apple store genius bar: Tech: “I never did ayahuasca” Customer: “I did heroine 4 or 5 times, you’re not missing anything”

My back is hurting a decent amount today on the plane and I keep thinking of this clip:

“Home is where you watch someone wash their genitals in your parking lot with hand soap” or however that saying goes. Fucking Portland.

Apparently I share my birthday with the great Daffy Duck.

Words of wisdom for you all! Choose wisely my friends 💙

“I said ‘crow lamps’, not prolapse!” - My Mom on her talk to text

This gives me faith in the internet still being fun.

Sitting in my car watching a girl in a pink plaid skirt wearing a backpack struggling to pick a rose off a bush, then pull out a fucking bowie knife to cut one. True feminine energy at its finest.

Can you actually be having a bad day when the butcher hooks you up with extra bacon? That answer is no.

I feel like Alaska Airlines has been consistently so great when it comes to major US airlines. Totally unaffected by today’s outages. I don’t think i’ve ever had an issue flying with them, and I fly a lot!

I’ve seen three separate human shits today, all in different locations. I will not miss this about living in Portland Oregon.

Discovered a new tongue twister today: “Architectural Glass Blocks” Have fun!

It’s staggering how much more laughter, support and love I feel in my life now. It’s like I ripped off a rotten bandaid that was keeping me from healing. Fuck yes

Do you think Iggy Pop is into puppy play?

This summer I discovered that if you have access to fresh basil, and you wanna repel skeeters, you can simply rub it all over you. It’s mind blowing how well it works, plus you will smell amazing

"Baptism" not being in the top ten on Crystal Castles Spotify is maybe the most glaring example of the world being off track

I’m sick of taking the high road, I wanna run my mouth SO bad! 🧘🏻 Woosah

Los Angeles was my home for 20 years, and used to be such a special place. It’s barely recognizable anymore. I feel so fortunate to have gotten out. I just want to live on a farm in the woods.

Tim Elliott Y jazz Juan Archuleta

Opening night of Halloween Horror nights at Worlds of Fun went above and beyond tonight with the whole “active shooter” deal. So glad I’m a pass holder!