Wife is cleaning out storage room today. She wants to get rid of this. I told her to go fly a kite. #giddyup

Science Fact: It is impossible for a man to strap down any kind of load in a trailer without saying "That's not going anywhere" as he tightens the rope.

Thousands Of Students Forced To Attend Iowa State After University Sets Acceptance Rate To 140% trib.al/56iXdsC

NCAA Investigating God For Giving Gifts To Athletes trib.al/QCJtEjF

BRING. BACK. NCAA. FOOTBALL.

Protect Ya Neck against the Coronavirus. We are making a few thousand prints and distributing them across New York City. Feel FREE to do the same in your City. Share and RT this to the world. #wutang

We've had 6 people drop their ballots into our rental return slot and they all voted for Kanye.

Way to go Pig Farmers! The industry has made many improvements in sustainability over the past 50 years, with many great years to come. 🐷🌎 bit.ly/3ri5OWw

Yesterday we celebrated Earth Day by not burning our trash in the alley. If we all do our part we can make a difference.

NASA Says New Moon Mission Unlikely Since Neil Armstrong Only Person Who Knew How To Get There bit.ly/3eF2YqS

Which is broken more often?

This is an article I wrote about the 2 most common methods for filtering sow farms. Give it a read!

As interest in customer-owned generation increases, we urge OPPD customers to do their research before investing in rooftop solar. Learn more 👉 ow.ly/fOnQ50PeaP0

[sees a zebra for the first time] What's up with that horse? [sees a giraffe for the first time] Okay, what the hell is going on today?

[buying a dog] hi yes i want to be absolutely devastated in like 11 years or so

We are excited to serve everyone biscuits tomorrow morning at our Philadelphia location but in order to do that it needs to be not burned down please

Biologists Confirm Foxes Sneakiest Little Fuckers In Animal Kingdom trib.al/pIXBUHC

[every time I watch the joy of painting] *5 minutes in* yellow ochre?? for a snow-covered mountain?! alright bob ross this time you've really lost it *15 minutes in* bob ross you son of a bitch

Cows Go Extinct trib.al/SG18qWY

Upstate NY police department fed up with snow, charges winter with loitering trib.al/kDI9j1g