The Super Bowl Halftime Show we deserve…

Who or what is Geese?

Is One Battle After Another worth seeing on discount Tuesdays at Cinemark?

Sometimes I can't believe I lived through this entire decade and thought this was normal. I'm truly a lucky person.

40 minutes ago…

Baseball players are the hottest.

Can you believe we used to watch Entourage and Californication? Now those would be considered dark and deeply misogynistic, but we just thought they were funny and irreverent.

I could only take about one minute of Geese's "Taxes." Jesus Christ. Dude sounds like he's being strangled with marbles in his mouth.

Not responding to texts for weeks, not writing thank you notes for bridal shower or wedding presents… is this just the new norm with girlfriends? Dear Abby, these hoes suck.

My next novel is about my mid-life crisis.

I think I was an asshole in my past life. Make of that what you will.

I have thoughts on Black Rabbit.

Why does Jude Law have a forced New York accent and Jason Bateman has a middle of the road, anywhere accent? #BLACKRABBIT

Jason Bateman should not direct himself. He has charisma, but he doesn't push himself so it comes off half-assed. He could be great with the right director.

Jude Law seems uncomfortable in the role of a New Yorker.

Black Rabbit would be a better series on HBO, but it's been Netflixed so everything about it is so-so. Episode 2 was better mainly due to Jason Bateman as a hot hipster with a mullet which is primarily why I'll continue to watch. Basically because I'm horny and middle-aged.

I want to party in Europe to ABBA. Specifically Lay All Your Love On Me.

Voulez-Vous is the ultimate cinematic coke scene song.

Jason Bateman is so hot.

Finished Black Rabbit and I can say it’s a much better show after the first episode. Jason Bateman is the star as the lovable asshole. These are the only types of roles he should be playing, preferably ones with sex scenes going forward. I mean, at least a make out sesh? Come on,