WHO’S READY TO PAWTY?? 🎉

Nobody: Dads after paying the bill at a restaurant:

This is one of the purest things I’ve ever seen🐶

nothing: happens my cheeks:

i miss all of my little routines and errands i am NOTHING without my little routines and ERRANDS

one of God’s greatest creations: the potato

i love how uncreative some food names are. like we really call bread in the shape of a stick “breadstick”

This is Kevin. He was wondering if he could visit the ducks today. You can’t say no because he already put the hat on. 14/10

This is Moose. He accidentally opened the front facing camera. Decided to make the most of it. 12/10

I don’t think celery should be allowed to be in stuff like what does it bring to the table in terms of flavor, style, it lacks that certain je ne sais quoi and it should be outlawed

For the last time, we only rate dogs. Whoever dropped a scoop of oreo ice cream on the floor please come pick it up. Thank you... 13/10

If you were subject to “hi hungry I’m dad” or “a bird is going to poop on that pouting lip” by your midwestern father you may be entitled to financial compensation

no thoughts today. only float

This is Archie. He’s out of pawffice this week. Do not even think about contacting him. For any reason. 14/10

i made a list of events. i think should be added. to the olympics 2. the 100m hardwood floor slide 9. least time between naps 3. walking on the opposite side of a tree. so your human has to switch the hand they are holding the leash with 6. floor routine. but it’s belly rubs

it’s that time of the year again, HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVE EVE

Hotel air conditioners are the McDonalds sprite of air conditioning

Happy October 1st