You’ve heard of Elf on the Shelf, but what about Danny DeVito on a Chilito? #MyElf

Two things... 1. Going to the Cincinnati Bengals game tonight w/@kyleharker and 2. My dog has #Instagram now, bc... why not? Haha follow @dollyonthedaily

Hmmmmpfh 🧐

It has to get exhausting being angry all the time

I have seen more Cleveland Browns shirts at the gym today than ever before haha good for them. They deserve it.

I had a dream that the plastic Kroger bag I was using to pick Dolly’s dog poop up with had a giant hole in it. I made it work. Not sure how to process that one though haha

Netflix has had some pretty good documentaries lately, (Trial By Media, Spycraft, Night Stalker, Crack, etc.) but it’s time for some new Alien/UFO stuff 👽✌🏼🛸

I’m just glad I’m not the douche looking at himself in the mirror while running backwards on the treadmill at the gym right now

Dear Planet Fitness employee who just sat down for your break, Although I throughly enjoy Mexican cuisine just as much as you, I would very much appreciate not smelling it throughout the entire gym while I’m trying to workout haha

DAVE season is coming

The #Reds jumped up to #4 in the MLB Power Rankings this week! 🔴⚾ #ATOBTTR

Bummed I missed Garth Brooks last night in Cincinnati 😫

Heard someone say that Pickle back shots are like martinis but for sad people

Buying a house. I guess this is growing up haha #blink182

Haven’t taken a selfie is a while. Here ya go haha

Why do bank tellers make me feel like I’m robbing them when I try to withdrawal my own money from an account haha

They need to lock all these muppets up before someone else gets hurt #SesameStreet

Dear Monster Energy as a loyal customer, I feel from a marketing perspective, the naming of this flavor felt misleading. The expectation was a creamy/strawberry concoction, which has prevented me from purchasing in the past. Please consider dropping the word “Dreams”. Thank you