Celebrities sometimes get asked to do little personal messages to fans. Karl did one to a bloke called Phil. Amazing youtube.com/watch?v=3rznHY…

Lose belly fat with this one weird old tip ——> Eat less.

“DavidLovatt: Happy birthday, Callum Lovatt! What do you think, Ricky Gervais? #Derek ” Absolutely Brilliant!

Liam Gallagher has vowed to have 20 children. Should raise a few eyebrows.

Me at Santa Anita horse races yesterday, trying to place a bet. Nothing funny about it

If I meet someone's eye on the tube I always have the urge to mouth "Just the bill please," and do that scribbly mime.

Station newspaper seller has turned over all copies of the papers. Thinks media shouldn't have put machete attack suspect on front page.

This scares me more than terrorism #vindieselandthevoicecanfuckoff

Sorry to anyone who received a message from me in the last day or two, my account was hacked. If you do want to lose weight, eat less

Oh Jowell. Shared equity schemes are inflationary, a device for the old to extract even more money from the young. #bbcqt

Last night I ordered and ate a plate of room service chips #ultimatelazysnack

Wendy Davis abortion filibuster ends in chaos gu.com/p/3gpf3/tw

Army officer salutes the protesters from the roof of an army hospital. People went wild. #Jun30

Stephen Merchant This is classic!! hahah... by MMatt

The 16-month sentence of a Norwegian woman who reported a rape in Dubai should be the final straw. DO NOT GO ON HOLIDAY TO THIS AWFUL PLACE.

Holiday Movie: youtu.be/GNPWTSUoNGI

Going to the races at Newmarket for the first time tomorrow, any tips from my favourite cousin? Ian Martin

I don't really tweet but let's give this a go again. These days I help run justaddnic.co.uk Justaddnic #idealohmshow #justaddnic

#NewProfilePic