If you ask a Midwesterner “how are you” and they respond 1. “well, im here” 2. “oh it’s going” 3. “living the dream” send help immediately. It’s a desperate cry for help that loosely translates to “i need you to push me off the roof.”

I know CNN & MSNBC never aired this, so I figured I would. Spot on, don't you think?

Republicans just agreed to spend $14 Billion to defend Ukraine’s border. They refused $4 Billion to defend ours.

The #STLCards are one of three teams currently in talks with Albert Pujols, Mike Rodriguez reports. With the other reported teams being the Mariners and Rockies.

Hitting is the hardest thing to do in all of sports, don’t @ me

She’s my kind of rain 🍻 @ Hollywood Casino Amphitheatre St. Louis instagram.com/p/CdCW55MOWWfD…

“I am convinced that a criminal who wants a firearm can get one through illegal, untraceable, unregistered sources, with or without gun control.” -Senator Joe Biden, 1985

I can’t believe the Cardinals still allow Jim Edmonds to broadcast their games. 🤯

Worked on wearing pitches at today’s practice. Nothing like giving 13 year olds a little chin music to blow off some steam after a long day at the office. #BeElite

By far the best week of my life. Here’s to forever🍻🍾💍 @ Jamaica Mon instagram.com/p/CgphMAVuwjAb…

Greatest day of my life. Beyond thankful for all of our friends and family who helped make this day so special. @ 𝓗𝓮𝓪𝓿𝓮𝓷. instagram.com/p/CkqcMj3LH-Xo…

Meet Brittney Griner & Marine Paul Whelan. Both Americans. Both were convicted in Russian courts on dubious charges. Both serving multi-year sentences in Russian prison. Brittney hates America Paul served America Guess which one Biden traded a terrorist to free? Semper fi Paul

Man it would be nice if our spending bills funded our own damn country instead of Ukraine and the United Nations

Happy birthday to my smoke show wife! A quarter of a century never looked so good 🍾🍻 @ Whatta Shit Show instagram.com/p/CnsPiEzOmcRf…

How did we accidentally send $6.2billion to Ukraine? Let me repeat, our government lost track of $6.2 BILLION! Asking for a friend.

So your literal plan is to add Ukraine to NATO so we can go from fighting a proxy war to a direct war with Russia, sending American kids to die on the other side of the world for… what, exactly???

Woke Translator: 2023 Edition Hate = disagreement Far right = conservative Racist = white conservative White supremacist = conservative (any race) Fascist = conservative Gender = personality + preference Transphobia = acknowledging biological reality Gender affirmation =

When you look back… -They forced us to stay home for “2 weeks to flatten the curve”. Then 2 months. Then 2 years. -They forced us to “social distance”. Outside. -They chained up swings in parks. Tied off outdoor basketball nets. Locked up outdoor dog parks. -They shut down

The people who claimed that Trump would crash the economy and start WWIII have crashed the economy and started WWIII.