jack’s house out wed 😅

As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a munch

me after

NOOOO GRIMACE

Man Who Claims to Have Had Sex with Barack Obama in 2019 to be interviewed by Tucker Carlson tonight

the history books won’t tell u this but they found a strawberry elf bar and air pod pros in king tuts tomb

"Rock & Roll's last hope returns triumphantly with the masterful Who's Jerry?" -Jerry, at the Beach open.spotify.com/album/7LwKtRX8…

slamming into an elderly woman with two arms full of groceries on the train bc I was too distracted watching drake play with his hog on my apple vision pro

Democrats: "Trump is a threat to democracy!" Republicans: "Democrats made prices go up!" The tomato on my counter warning me about possible civil war:

A secret home remedy for chapped lips is to lick them. Your saliva will moisten the lips and relieve the chapping

Pipe rock theory

Taking my smallest, gentlest friends to go see the new Wes Anderson picture. Willoughby has sneaked an almond into the cinema in his satchel! Oh, how naughty!

There are fruits to eat yet. Life to live

it’s overdraft fee summer

If you just have 1 beer, that's called an Unlinked Beer. The body has ways of rejecting this beer and dampening its creative influence