AMEX has been on my ass calling 24-7, leaving voicemails every hour for a payment of $1.32 I’m surprised they didn’t send some WOPS to break my legs!!

beast mode

As far back as I can remember I always wanted to be a Diamond Dog

Beast Mode

Send him the right woman at the wrong time. Make him realize his flaws too late. Perfect. Now make him addicted to the gym but never have a truly good physique. Okay. Give him health problems in his 20s. Now recede his hairline.

all of his movies stink lol

a bag of doritos and water is about $47 at 7/11 btw

人生つまんないなと感じたら、 ・深夜に海辺をドライブ ・朝5時にマック行く ・サウナで汗と一緒にモヤモヤも流す ・夜20分ウォーキング ・気の合う友人とご飯 ・SNSを1週間断つ ・高級ホテルで一人ビュッフェ ・断捨離と掃除を決行する ・週末に日帰り旅行 小さな非日常で人生100倍楽しくなるよ

i’m gonna put you in a rose garden you BITCH

beast mode

i had a dream you usurped me, kitten. don’t ever do that again.

Instead of dying in a false flag attack orchestrated by Israel can I just go to a nearby synagogue and let a rabbi kick my ass or fuck me or something

bad news for chocolate chip cookies: i woke up today

Sounds good let me invest 40k into turning my computer room into a cigar lounge

it would be really cool if instagram would let me back on the app so I can send reels to my frens plz

Even japanese millenials are obsessed with Coffee/Cafe’s Why is that?