The policy of the English Democrat candidate for Essex Police commissioner was about ending diversity quotas and returning policing to white, straight, Christian males.
Didn't get my vote.
I don't vote for cunts.

It's too early to be laughing this much

Gonna try to get people to accept that the 8th of May should be called Motorhead day.
youtu.be/3mbvWn1EY6g?fe…

Instagram (tries to sell me stuff I don’t want)

Me: this is just garbage and nonsense, these adverts aren’t targeted at all.

Instagram: you sure? What about THIS GORILLA SOFA

You have to be called Helen. Everybody that works HR is called Helen.

ChatGPT in action folks. I had to explain to it why it was wrong.

Deeply dipshit

David Bowie: why so sad Bing?

Bing Crosby: My inflatable butt has gone flat.

DB: You need my rubber bum pump?

BC: Rubber bum pump?

DB: Rubber bum pump.

I'm absolutely losing my shit at this ĀÎ gen yearbook

I was promised a rapture, but all I got was a Monday.

Literal tears running down my face the second and third time I watched this omg. And the comments :

A monad is just a crumploid in the category of endospangles or something wtf

I still can’t believe my boyfriend is in so much debt that we can’t get married but I’ve taken things into my own hands now and nicked the money from my boss, if only it wasn’t raining so much, I’m so tired, oh look there’s a motel

Genius from Clarissa

Jaws is such a great film because it taps into that primal human fear of our beach resorts becoming unprofitable.

Accidental art - a thread 🧵

1. A rock-created bird shaped chip on a car windshield

20. A cat next to a stained glass window

My favourite tech April Fool of all time was the one that turned out not to be a joke. See, back in 2004, free web mail was already a thing . Services like Hotmail and Yahoo! Mail had been around for a while, but you didn't get much space. Yahoo had a 6Mb limit, Hotmail was 10Mb.

Guy Mowbay's commentary on #Gladiators is an exhausting and yet admirable example of the art of melodrama.

Music FACT: For security reasons, Kenny Loggins changes his name every 28 days.